Whimsical Journey of My Life

Lately I have this thought on my mind that how would the future generation of this nation would be dream of in terms of occupation. I feel sad knowing that kids jaman now when asked what do they wanna do in the future, instead of saying being a doctor, an engineer, or even pilot or astrounout like what was popular back in those days of my 90th generation, now guess what they wanna be? A Comedian or an Artist! I am not saying those two profession aren't as good as the others that 90th generation kids dreamed of but.. if you see the phenomenon nowadays and link to the statement of one magician that turned to be an artist who had a tv show in which I like and used to watch tv just to watch it because it contain good materials said that he blame artist and tv shows that showed inappropriate stuff. So I figured now I think that might be one of the reason why I stop watching tv. I was talking to one of my cousin who worked in the broadcasting and one of tv station, she said that it...

When strolling over any of my social media. This end of year full of travelling and marriage pictures. And I could jus t have my mind wander while my body sit still on the night shift in emergency room or else waiting for the doctor to visit the ward as I've done my morning follow up of the patients.  I would never regret to choose this profession as this could make you more mature and have developed a great sense of patience. Dealing with various kind of people makes you grateful and at the same time for the sake of humanity you have to help any kind people regardles they are criminals. In which deep inside if you forget that you are a doctor and had pledged the hipporatic oath, why would you want to help that residivis who had stolen cell phone and wallet of the society and let the society beat them to death if the police officer didn't bring it to the emergency room in hospital in which I happen to be on the night duty in the middle of the night. Christmas night. While I ha...

I realize that this year I am not really productive in writing (?) I think I am stuck with the coass life of routine then when I have free time I kinda lost my self in unproductive day which I am being lazy the whole day and do nothing except sleep and youtube-ing. Recently I have an enormous urge to travel. As I only have limited amount of free days besides horrendous nightmare hospital shift that cost you a whole day with just doing vital sign checking over the patient, so watching travel vlog would be a medicine for me I guess (?) I really enjoy watching battle trip in KBS World lately where there are 2 travel planner group that go to different cities and countries and there are 100 judges who would vote which one is the best itinerary that drive them to visit that country and follow their itinerary.  It's so much fun knowing that there are so many things out there in this world that we could actually do. So much food, stuff to do and breathtaking landscapes and activ...

Over this past 2016, I was just wondering "Jadi ini rasanya punya support system selain orang tua pastinya yang jauh dari tempat rantau" I know that I could always count on him somehow. I always take care of everything by myself and not really dependent on others but somehow deep down inside you know that you cannot tackle anything just by yourself. One of my friend even called me "Strong Independent Women". Well I said, I still need some men to protect me though. I feel like you need someone to cheer you up and that you could tell anything you've been through over the rough and excited days. You need someone who understands your feeling and what just happened to you without you tell and just sensing it. You can talk over just about anything from things happening in world out there to just silly things of everyday life. You can share what's in your thought and how you feel without being judged and feel comfortable. You just happened to be a friend of mine. A...

On the beginning of the year I was shocked because suddenly I have to be bridesmaid not just for one wedding of my friend but there are 3 more to go. Yeah, all of my best friend from high school are also getting married this year, can you imagine that? I was so surprised that they were proposed by the end of the year last year then suddenly one by one all of them are informing their wedding dates. I was already attending wedding almost every month starting last year but what shocking me is that I have to be the bridesmaid four time this year, it just that I am so happy for them but at the same time feeling insecure because of their "settled" life coming ahead. I know that everyone have their own time zone in their life, that they will arrive times when you are getting married and have a job and have a family and wonderful life and so forth. It just that maybe next year everything would change. My friend would not single anymore and they might be pregnant or having babies an...

Well, it's been hectic months after the graduation I gotta do the KKN and Komuda and completing my research paper to fulfil all of the graduations requirement. I also have to move to get closer to the hospital so it was really tiring to move 4 years of your life into a smaller room :( But although I have a smaller room now, but I am happy that it has sink in the bathroom and also it has the kitchen! I cook almost everyday and try out many different recipe, it so much give you joy to eat everything that you want without having to spend too much. The problem was just it's hard to park my car sometimes because the area for car parking is limited and I rarely drive now except for the weekend or if I have an ouside rotation, instead I walk everyday to the hospital that very nearby. I wanna start liveing healthy now by walking, join the aerobic class once a week, cook the food by myself and read quran one jus everyday and also read news more often! Hopefully I could be istiqoma...

Kotatsu: Kopi atau Susu K: "Menurut Mas, ya, lebih enak mana. Lampu merah yang ada penghitung mundurnya. Atau yang tidak? B: "Hmm.. Dengan penghitung mundur. Supaya sambil menunggu, bisa melakukan hal yang lain. Kalau waktunya sudah dekat, bisa bersiap dan bergegas." Kalau kau? K: "Tanpa penghitung mundur. Menunggu jadi seru saat kita tak tahu kapan akan berakhir. Kita akan menghargai setiap detik penantian." B: "Masa?" K: " Iya. Nilai sesuatu lebih berharga saat kita belum memilikinya. Atau, sudah tak memilikinya lagi." B: "Kan, lebih enak kalau tahu semua kenyataan. Apa adanya," K: "Kadang tak tahu, lebih baik dari tau. Lebih baik daripada tau sesuatu tapi tak jujur. Atau tau setengah-setengah, tapi ujungnya kita salah menduga. Atau yang jujur, tapi terlalu pahit." B: "Saya menyimak" K: " Allah itu Mahacanggih. Nggak semua hal dikasih tau ke kita. Karena kita belum siap tau kenyataannya...

A close friend of mine said this once. At some point you are close enough with someone, next time you know that they are strangers to you. Is it because you know them too much that they show you a different side of themselves that makes you disappointed upon them? If I may say, I don't even know how someone are close enough to me or not. How you define your closeness to anyone? Relationship between people is just so weird. You thought that you are closed enough to someone that you had share everything on your thought to them, you give hand when its needed, you give attention more than you gave to anyone else, yet sometimes you don't get any feedback from them then you feel somewhat useless. Other time you might even get attention and trust from someone that you don't even consider close enough to them because you only act casual to them but then they are very kind to you. How am I suppose to recognize people? After all, quality over quantity means better isn't it? You c...

There's a lot of things going on lately that force me to think and think and think and somehow it also make me more sensitive for some reason, like it's hard to control my emotion. Small silly mistakes could made me irritable and that make me felt like I'm the bad guy over here because I always feel like people forgotten me or left me out. It was initially started with my birthday.  I know that I'm not actually such a romantic friend who would always be the initiator to held a surprise party or giving a present when my friend have a birthday, I'm just close enough to someone who always tried to remember hardly my friends birthday date (because I'm not actually the type of person who would make such a fuss on party) but I think just a sincere wishes through social media or if I met them in person if I knew that day is their birthday is enough to warm their heart. (At least for me, that just the least thing I want from my closest friend, just to wish me a v...

Which one do you think more sinful? Just wondering... Commit Murder Having thought to suicide Rape or having sex before marriage Addicted to drug Drunk or consume alcohol Steal/rob/taking something not in your possession Corruption Fighting Nepotism Cheating Disobey your parent Gossiping or talking about someone behind their back What's the biggest impact if you commit one of those sin? Only yourself? Your family? friend? relatives? group of people? community? nation?  I hate to say these as I growing up, but once I become an adult, it feels like you only need to survive in this cruel world and pretend those kind of things doesn't exist even though it is happening right in front of my eyes. As the humanity philosopher said "People are basically good" and only the power of social loafing make them loosing their identity to still exist in that group if I may added.  Well who knows? I'm not saying that I don't commit sin or whatsoever ...

There was one Taiwanese boy once asked me "Is that okay for a Muslim girl to hold hand with a guy?". "It was from last night game, the AMSC Olympics. Oh you didn't join the play?" "Yeah, I was preparing for my presentations so I take a break and prepared"  I have no idea what should I actually answer to that boy, and I said "Shaking hand is okay I think" and he said "Yeah, I know shaking hand is okay, but how about holding hand while we're playing last night?" and I said "Well, it really depends on the person and the intention I guess", then I call another muslim friends from Bangladesh to explain but he wasn't really focus on the question and then we were talking about different topic. Then still with curiosity, I asked my Muslim Malaysian friend about this, which she was also a girl. I like her answer though which kinda bit the same with my answer previously but in a more elaborative way. Interesting righ...

in·se·cure ˌinsəˈkyo͝or/ adjective 1 . (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious. "a top model who is notoriously insecure about her looks" synonyms: unconfident ,  uncertain ,  unsure ,  doubtful ,  hesitant ,  self-conscious , unassertive ,  diffident ,  unforthcoming ,  shy ,  timid ,  retiring ,  timorous , inhibited ,  introverted ;  More 2 . (of a thing) not firm or set; unsafe. If I could describe my feeling in a word now, that could be it, to sum up all of my feeling of "anxiousness". For some reason, lately I felt like I've been left behind in term of anything you may say, education, career, finance, love life, or else, merely I just worried about my future prospect. The reason that trigger me to lead so is that lots of graduation picture in my time line, I chat with my old friends over that issue just to say "Congraduat...