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Reflection

Well I'm wondering, why I feel like my passion and my energy are like declining. Somehow I feel like nothing and nobody without support from my family and my close friends back in Indonesia. But then I said to my self, this is the time for me to be grown up, independent and like I said before, stay out of my comfort zone and seeing the reality of life which is shocking for sure.

I know I have learned a lot during my stay in here. Psychology really give an insight and answer for some of my questions about the world and specially American. I know that if somebody achieve certain standard then their expectancy come higher and they will always improve it or at least stay in that position. People always look at me and say that they are jealous how bright and lucky I am, or how sometimes I am not grateful of what I already have. True, because I always expect something beyond that, and that always makes me underestimate my self and cannot clearly see my own potential. I am not type of person who likes to bragging about my self so people know who I am and what I have done to the world. I just don't want people to  know it from my words but I want them to know it from my actions. Let them know it by them self, which actually they did and that what makes me feel better. I also think that some of my experiences have not meet my expectations. But yet I said to my self, just make the rest of it perfect! I also think that I don't need to be someone else to be accepted. This is me and it is what it is. Sure we need to improve. But I think we need to improve to the positive way. That's why people said that when we go abroad we have to have filtered in our self, pick what is good and stay away from the bad. That's when norm and values internalize in our own selves. As the proverb said: "When in Rome do what the Romans do", sure,  but what inside your heart is the one that tells you what you should do. I know it's hard to make a shield against western cultures when I lived here but I should always remember that I come from the east and it will always be no matter what.

I only have couple months left during my stay in United States of America as an exchange student. Sure I try my best to make it last forever for me and all of the people around me who at least know me and hope that they remember a good thing from me. I did good and I don't have to prove it to the world that I can excel in any field. Every human is not perfect, so do I. Imperfect makes us human who always learn from their experienced. This experience is not only stop right here. My life is still a long way to go and I promise to my self that this experience would let me do something better to the world :D and to Indonesia, my beloved country. What makes it important is the life after this, how I can imply it to my next step of life. These experiences teach me lots of things about life and I hope I can apply it in the Future as well.


-NA

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